I’ve had to slow down on work over the last couple of days. By slow down I mean take two full days off followed by a sparse day of work (in my line of work, this is somewhat insane). In addition to my crazy headaches and sharp chest pains (comes with the territory of working 16 hours days right?) I just haven’t been able to deal with the overwhelming feeling that comes with doing what I do. I didn’t realise until I was much older how much energy, work, diet and the people that you have around you have an affect your mental health. Truthfully speaking, mental health management wasn’t and isn’t really a thing in my African culture and is still very much considered a ‘white person’s problem’ but as the years are racing, by I’m starting to recognise that that black people aren’t invincible, nor are they exempt from the effects life can have on the mind. It’s funny how we’re taught to fill our bodies with the right food, vitamins and water but we don’t have this same micro obsession with what we pour into our minds
I sometimes feel like somewhat of a pillar to those around me. People rely on me to laugh, they rely on me to be reliable and just be there but I’m noticing that now, it’s become a little more expected of me than asked of me and people don’t seem to be too forgiving when I have off days.