I’ve had to slow down on work over the last couple of days. By slow down I mean take two full days off followed by a sparse day of work (in my line of work, this is somewhat insane). In addition to my crazy headaches and sharp chest pains (comes with the territory of working 16 hours days right?) I just haven’t been able to deal with the overwhelming feeling that comes with doing what I do. I didn’t realise until I was much older how much energy, work, diet and the people that you have around you have an affect your mental health. Truthfully speaking, mental health management wasn’t and isn’t really a thing in my African culture and is still very much considered a ‘white person’s problem’ but as the years are racing, by I’m starting to recognise that that black people aren’t invincible, nor are they exempt from the effects life can have on the mind. It’s funny how we’re taught to fill our bodies with the right food, vitamins and water but we don’t have this same micro obsession with what we pour into our minds

I sometimes feel like somewhat of a pillar to those around me. People rely on me to laugh, they rely on me to be reliable and just be there but I’m noticing that now, it’s become a little more expected of me than asked of me and people don’t seem to be too forgiving when I have off days.

Sometimes, when you take on too much or do too much you end up crashing and that’s unfortunately what has happened to me this week.  I always try and go above and beyond for other people but I’m noticing that this is somewhat becoming the demise of my energy levels (that and anaemia) and I really needed to hone things in before they dropped to dangerous levels.

I say all of this to say that you cannot be all of the things all of the time and that’s okay. The sooner that we accept that we can’t do it all, that it’s okay if we have to let others down to ensure that we’re okay first, that sometimes even if things can’t wait they’re going to have to the sooner we’re able to build a stronger foundation for ourselves.

Not enough of us take the right steps to ensure that we are the ‘just fine’ that we say we are. I always say to myself, if you wear yourself thin for other things or other people, the only one who deals with the circumstances of that is you! So, here’s to being okay with not being okay and taking things slow until things become alright again.

Top – Solace London

Skirt – House of CB

Shoes – Gianvito Rossi